Another New Beginning

I am finding it a little challenging to come across the right place to start this blog. I guess the thought of broadcasting all the details of my life, namely my innermost thoughts, seems a little intimidating. But I feel strongly that for this blog to be successful, it has to be totally raw. Disclaimer: I am not going to hold back. If you commit to reading this, you will truly be a part of my life -- the good, the bad, the ugly, and the magnificent.  I plan to share my adventures, my pictures, my cooking, my inspirations, and my trials. I am sharing this with you so you can always be in touch with my ever-changing endeavors. But I am also doing it for me; so I can look back and laugh at funny memories, learn from mistakes, contradict myself over and over, and grow from my surprising wisdom. There is just one way to find success in anything in life, which is to simply start.

So here it goes.

In 14 days I will be on a plane to Alaska. This is truly one of my dreams come true; for so long I have dreamed of those mountains, those glaciers, those tasty fresh fish! And now that it’s finally within my grasp, I just cannot understand why I am not running wild with excitement. On a daily basis people ask me if I am excited, and my answer is yes. I am not lying, but I don’t say it with enough conviction to fool even myself. I AM happy to start a new adventure. I DO feel blessed, and maybe that is one cause of the withdrawal; someone like me couldn’t possibly be this lucky to have an opportunity to spend five months in one of the most beautiful places on earth; someone like me couldn’t possibly get to live such a crazy, wild, beautiful life. It’s just silly talk, I know, but I cannot shake this weird feeling. It’s like I don’t want to get too worked up in case something goes wrong. I really cannot pinpoint it, but I just know that I leave in TWO WEEKS and I’ll be damned if I let an opportunity like this go to waste. I have barely packed, but my intention is to bring as little as possible… we’ll see about that when I am yet again sprawled on top of my suitcase trying to zip it shut!

Cannot help but feel nostalgic of last summer at Lake Crescent Lodge. It was truly my best summer yet, and I know the main part was the newness and the adventure. I met great people, I saw amazing scenery, I grew closer to the woman I want to be. On the long drive there, I swore out love and romantic relationships, but soon found myself love struck by the most unlikely man. It was bliss, it was chaotic, and it was a struggle. I learned many valuable lessons from this one, so at least I can always see the bright side of it all. I found myself at my lowest; depleted of all self worth, depressed, and simply stuck. Alaska was my saving grace. It has been the one thing I have had to look forward to all these months when I really didn’t have much else to take my mind off all the negatives. Maybe the reminiscence comes from the fact that once I set foot in Alaska, the year of my Washington journey finally comes to an end. I know it’s been over for a while, but that will really be the point where my fresh beginning starts. It’s exhilarating and a bit sad. But that is life, especially the one I am living. I sacrifice a home of my own, a constant group of close friends, and a secure job, for the thrill of a gypsy life. A life where I am always packing up and moving on, meeting new people, and experiencing the fleeting joy of a new place. At the end of the day, the sacrifice is worth it. When I am older and living a typical life, I know I will be able to look back and be proud of the courage it took to live outside my comfort zone.

So bring it on. I am ready. Alaska, here I come!