I AM

Checking in from Paracas, Peru!

This lovely little beach town has given me some down time to really think about a lot of things. Traveling in a third world country has evolved my perspective of life in more ways than one. At first, driving through the high mountain Quechua villages made me a bit sad. I could only think of how hard their lives must be, about how their stares as we passed by seemed bitter (now I think it was just curiosity), and about all the things they lived without. But then I started seeing the smiles. Those toothless, ear to ear grins are some of the most genuine smiles I have ever seen. It occurred to me that these people live an abundant life because they have enough. So many people are never satisfied, they never have enough...enough money, enough possessions, enough distraction. These people are living simply, but they are living meaningfully. The children here are so beautiful. They play with sticks, they laugh, they are willing to share with you even though they don't have much. It is so inspirational to see that this way of life can be wonderful.

Before I left, I bought a book called E-squared by Pam Grout. It has been one of the best books that has ever come into my life, and I would recommend it to anyone. I am really excited to tell you about these ideas, because I think everyone deserves to know how much potential there is in the universe! 

It has 9 experiments in it to prove the idea that we control what happens to us. The first one blew me away. I started reading this book on the plane to Austin, and the first task was to ask the universe for an unexpected gift within the timeframe of 48 hours. So I did. About 3 hours later, I was passing layover time by enjoying wine and reading in this airport wine bar. The man next to me was on the same flight to Austin, so we got to talking a little bit. We pretty much just exchanged the basics, travel plans, occupations, etc. I told him about my trip to South America and he was really excited about it. So after maybe 20 minutes of talking, it was finally time for our plane to board. I reached for my purse at the same time he said "put hers on my tab too". Mind you, I had been there for about 2 hours, drank two glasses of Malbec, and ate a very fancy cheeseboard...so my bill was around $50. I protested and told him it wasn't necessary, but he insisted and simply said "Here's to the start of your amazing trip." Wow. I definitely marked that down as my unexpected gift! I was so intrigued after that, that I had to keep reading and keep performing these experiments... and I am now a believer! 

Basically we control our reality. Everything we think and feel creates our world. This includes fears, prayers, every little thought. We control everything from our physical appearance to our health to our lifestyles. There is far too much negativity going around, and every time you affirm a negative thought, it grows. By saying "I am sick" you become more ill. By saying "I am fat" you continue to gain weight.   By constantly asking "what's wrong?" we focus on only the negatives...it's just in our nature. But if we just start asking ourselves "what's right?" we immediately focus on only the positive aspects of our lives, and those will thrive. By saying "I am healthy" you will feel good. By saying "I am happy" you will be filled with joy. It's so simple. The power of "I AM" is so immense!

I AM a photographer

I AM prosperous in life

I AM a source of positive energy

I AM love

I AM thankful

I AM the master of my destiny

These are a few of the affirmations I tell myself every day. The entire list takes about one minute to recite. This list is filled with all the things I aspire to be. By saying these simple things over and over, I start to really believe them, and they become my truth. I have the exact life I want...we all do. Though it may not seem like it to you, you have created all that is your reality. So if there is something you don't like, something you truly want to change, then just do it. Life is far too short to spend unhappy and unhealthy and lost. 

The end of the book sums up pretty well her ideas of this belief:

1. You are awesome. Whether you realize it or not, you are 

a tremendously powerful energetic being. 

Currents of possibilities run deep through your bones. 

2. The great field of potentiality is unlimited. 

Absolutely anything is possible. All it takes is the willingness to open your mind, 

surrender the "old-school" conditioning, 

and continue to expand into more joyful, freer, bigger ideas.

3. We're all in this together. If we take care of one 

another and go the extra mile to appreciate and play together, 

we all gain- each one of us is lifted up. 

Sure, we could walk alone to the finish line. 

But the real joy comes from tackling the journey together, 

from raising our voices in one mighty, unified wahoo! 

This idea has so much more to it. There are countless books about this subject, so I could really go on forever. But I just want to inspire you to open your mind to this. Try the same experiment I did, ask for an unexpected gift and truly believe that it will happen within 48 hours. You have nothing to lose, only to gain! When your gift appears, I would be thrilled to hear about it, and know that this is not just impacting my life positively, but yours as well. 

I will be sure to update about travels very soon, and post some more photos. Another couple of days on the beach, then it's to the mountains of Arequipa! 

LOVE

Viva el Peru carajo!

Well, where do I even begin? It seems as though slacking on my writing for an entire month was not in my best interest in keeping you all updated. So I will do my best to compile a summary both detailed enough to paint the full picture, but short enough to keep you from experiencing any boredom.

The first country on the itinerary is Peru. We've been here nearly one month, and have so far been to three different cities. The luxury of the beginning of a trip is that you feel like you have all the time in the world, so you take it. You enjoy it. You even waste it in the best ways possible. You can imagine traveling for long periods of time can be extremely exhausting, so taking occasional lazy days is necessary to keep my health in tact...though it doesn't always work as I am now trying to get rid of a pesky cold.

LIMA
We have been using Lima mostly as a base city, but I've found I quite enjoy it. When we first arrived, we only spent one day exploring the city- Miraflores, the beach, where ever the sidewalk took us. On day two we took an 8 hour overnight bus ride to Huaraz, where we spent two weeks. After Huaraz, it was back to Lima. This time we were able to spend a few days here. Randomly enough, a couple of my coworkers from Alaska were in Lima at the same time so I was able to spend time with them, and I am so glad I was able to get to know them better!

We celebrated Halloween American style, dressed up and partied a little bit too hard. Ventured over to the city center, where there was an unexpected and HUGE celebration taking place. There were food carts scattered everywhere, so of course we had to try as many of them as our stomachs could handle. Arroz con leche, churros, sweet potato chips, chifas, donuts with syrup. Needless to say I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with food that day!

We took a tour of the beautiful Iglesia de San Francisco and its catacombs underneath. I was shocked to find that they pretty much lied to these people, promising them a private tomb in exchange for a large sum of money, when they really unburied them a few months later and stacked their bones in huge pits.

After watching my friend Jessica get an awesome tattoo, Carli and I decided we had to partake too. So we schedule appointments for the next day. I finally got the Hamsa Hand/ Hand of Fatima that I've been wanting for years. It signifies protection, and brings about happiness, luck, health, joy, and good fortune. Perfect symbol to aid in a safe journey. Though I will say, after two hours of drilling on my ribcage, I was a little hesitant of whether I made a good choice. A week later, I am quite thrilled with it!

We've been staying at the Kokopeli hostel which is a pretty cool place. It's located in Miraflores which is one of the nicer parts of the city, surrounded by cool restaurants, cafes, bars, and shops.
So we are staying in Lima for the weekend, then it's off to the coastal towns of Paracas and Ica, which I am quite excited about!


HUARAZ
We scheduled a bus to take us to Huaraz overnight, and thought it departed at 10:30. Little did we know there were two bus terminals, and the one we showed up to at 10:18 was the first stop, we missed  the bus by 6 minutes! So we set out on a high speed chase to catch the bus, ran through the terminal with our concerned taxi driver. Luckily the bus waited for us! We learned our lesson that night about cutting it too close to departure times as well as not checking itineraries and locations properly! So the next morning we woke up to sunny Huaraz, hardly rested and extremely dehydrated.

What a beautiful mountain town! We spent two weeks here getting to know the town and the surrounding mountain range, Cordillera Blanca. After an easy day of acclimating, we hiked to Laguna 69. There was a point, at about 15,500 feet and ten minutes from the top, that I thought I might die! But I persisted and of course the top was worth every bit of pain, which immediately subsided upon seeing the beautiful aqua glacial lake and towering mountains surrounding it. The trail was basically a stream thanks to all the rainfall, so that was pretty fun to maneuver! We squeezed in a crowded van at the trails end, filled with locals coming down the awful mountain road. After a couple hours of extreme discomfort, we made it back to Huaraz and stuffed our bellies full of Chifa aka Chinese food.

The next day we set out on another day hike to Laguna Churup. This one was possibly shorter, but way steeper. Hiked alongside a waterfall, using cables to help climb the huge boulders. I found later in the midst of a mild panic attack, I am extremely terrified of going down backwards using the cables! Carli was brave enough to jump in the lake, while I refused after she surfaced screaming "don't do it!". We enjoyed the sunshine and the view for a while, then hiked back down. On our way back, we encountered a few Quechua people who were lovely. One man rode by on a donkey, and stopped long enough to start talking politics and religion with us.

After a couple days of rest, we embarked on the 4-day Santa Cruz trek. Though we had some doubts about weather conditions, it ended up being quite perfect for us the whole time. The view in that valley was amazing! Although it's a national park, it is still used as free grazing grounds, so unfortunately there are poo piles everywhere along the entire trail. Our second night of camping, we were lucky enough to be next to a guided group who invited us to join them not only for dinner, but a pancake breakfast too. It was very fortunate because we didn't exactly pack enough food! We were feeling both exhausted and excited our last day, but after an awful 6 hour bus ride surrounded by 20 people and a bag of guinea pigs in a van meant for 15, we were over it!

We had planned on doing a 8-12 day trek on the HuayHuash trail, but unfortunately due to poor conditions we were not able to. So instead we spent our days enjoying many coffee presses of delicious Peruvian coffee at Cafe Andino and California Cafe. We frequented the market and enjoyed doing yoga on the rooftop on nice days.
Huaraz is a definite must-do, especially for mountain lovers.

IQUITIOS 
Our flight to Iquitos was supposed to take an hour and a half, but after seven hours of weather delay we made it to town just in time to find all the hostels booked up and seemingly had no choice but to stay in a friend of our mototaxi drivers 'bunk house'. Windowless, bug filled, dirty, and hot... we were not thrilled! Early the next morning we left and checked into the Flying Dog hostel, which was quite the upgrade but still not so impressive. Iquitos is an interesting city. It is extremely remote, so there aren't many vehicles, only mototaxis and motorcycles. It's become a bit of a tourist trap, jungle tour companies out on the street trying to sell you trips.
We booked with a reasonable one that took us into the jungle for two days. During that time we floated and swam in the Amazon river, visited local villages, held monkeys and sloths at a reserve, hiked through the jungle at night, fished for pirahna, and lounged in the hammock room. It was a relaxing change of pace from the cities. Of course I was attacked multiple times by various spiders and mosquitoes, crossing my fingers I don't get yellow fever.

So there you have it! That's basically what I've been up to for the past month. Doesn't seem like that much!
I want to end with saying you are capable of creating any life you wish to have. Your truest desires, your frequent thoughts, and even your fears, will all come together to create your reality. So keep that in mind as you go through each day. Live it positively and without fear. Live life true to yourself, and you will find life will just unfold as it's meant to. I have figured out my intention for my life, and I am really excited with what's to come!

"By choosing your thoughts, and by selecting which emotional currents you will release and which you will reinforce, you determine the effects that you will have upon others, and the nature of the experiences of your life." 

"Make your atmosphere so joyous that all who come near you will feel its buoyancy." 

Weekend Adventure

As I continue to explore new places, the overwhelming feeling of deja vu ever grows. Have I been here before? Maybe in a dream, maybe in another life. Maybe after you've seen so many places, they all start to look similar. Or maybe I have just seen this place in a photo that felt too real. Either way, this mirrored lake shore is more home to me than any other place. I've set my tent up in the perfect spot, open yet shaded; a rock and stump that make for an ideal dining table; and best of all, no one else around. I hiked in three miles at dusk, leaving myself just enough daylight to settle in, my pack a constant reminder of the neigh unbearable weight of my necessities. In my defense, a girl should never go into the wild alone without the proper provisions: two blocks of cheese, a camera, whisky, and bear spray. 

The next morning, I wake when my body tells me. Slowly stretching out the nights kinks, boiling water for coffee and oatmeal, and heading to the water to warm up in the sunshine. I find a flat rock, half submerged in the lake, where I solute the sun, the moon, and my inner goddess who has been absent for too long. I lay down and notice the suns reflection off the lake on the pine branches above. I like the view from down dog because it reassures me that even though my view on life can sometimes be upside down and blurred, I'm in the exact position I am supposed to be in. I dip my bare feet in the water to see if I am brave enough to take the leap. I'm not. It's an alpine lake, freezing cold, and besides... I am afraid of deep water. After taking in my daily dose of caffeine and reading a few chapters of my book, I decide it's time to hike. 

I find the trail and set into my groove. No matter how hard the trail gets, I have to remember that one foot in front of the other will always get me to the top. There is only nature's time out here. My digital clock is useless, and I prefer it that way. I feel I have more time once I stop worrying about how much time I have. Rest when I am tired; read an entire book; drink a moscow mule or two; sit in the shade when I'm warm, and in the sun when I am chilled. I choose a shaded rock to rest on, one who has yet to soak in the days heat because the pines above are greedily taking in all the light for themselves. The occasional plane above reminds me of the real world out there. It keeps spinning, it doesn't miss me at all. And I guess I don't miss it either. It would continue revolving if I never returned to it, and I am tempted. But the fact of a limited food supply and a 14-day camp limit remind me that I must. It doesn't change the fact that this reality is more more real than the real world could ever be. I reach my daily destination, Lost Twin Lakes, where I spend the afternoon reading and taking pictures. When I feel it's time, I head back down to camp.

I spoil myself with a lavish dinner, moscow mules, and a leisurely stroll around the lake at sunset. As I watch it sink below the horizon, I already miss this place. I miss it for the things it has taught me. I miss it for the beauty it has surrounded me with. I miss it like I miss my own sun, setting beneath my soul and leaving a darkness I can only cope with until mornings first light. I make a promise to come back, and I know I will because I already have. Night creeps in and all that's left is me, my shelter, my belongings strewn about, and the loneliness darkness brings. I don't know as though I will ever get used to spending nights alone in a tent, all I know is that I have no other choice. 

I wake up early the next morning and slowly pack up. I am in no hurry to leave and return to reality. I cannot look back as I hike away because I know I won't have the nerve to leave. The hike out is beautiful. I see a momma and baby moose who watch me intently, waiting for me to come one step too close. After the breathless mile, comes the easy mile, then the trailhead. It's finally time to leave. Maybe my car senses my hesitation, maybe it really is just a junker, but it only takes me a minute to realize it's not running right. I can't accelerate past 30mph on flat road without reaching the dreaded 4. Luckily enough, the road to Ten Sleep is all downhill, so I am able to coast the whole way down. In town, I ask the gas station attendant if there is a mechanic in town. He secretly smirks, saying "This is Wyoming….on a Sunday….good luck trying to find anything you need." So I call my dad in hysterics, and like the dependable man he is, he comes to save me. Meanwhile, I head to the local saloon and by chance meet a biker group from New Zealand. I talked to them for an hour while I forgot my big red dodge of a problem one hefewiezen at a time. A two hour drive home with Clifford towed in back later, and guess what? He is running just fine. I can't even explain my frustration. But alas, I have to believe everything happens for a reason. 

So despite the mild drama, I have returned home with a full-body sunburn, 50 mosquito bites, and a renewed spirit. It was a weekend for the books, folks. And as for tonight, all I plan on is finishing shark week, and a chilled bottle of prosecco. 

Warrior of the Light

It wasn't until yesterday, sipping stout coffee out of my jetboil while surrounded by glowing mountains, endless wildflower meadows, and a casual rush of fresh water, that I realized I wasn't breathing. Sure, I was inhaling enough oxygen to sustain my life…but i wasn't actually taking time to consciously breathe. Though there was no urgency, I still couldn't relax enough to appreciate the moment surrounding me. I know I've gotten too stressed out when I can't even enjoy the things I love most. I waded into the middle of the river and found a flat boulder on which to move through sun salutations. After closing my eyes and forcing myself to slow down, I could finally feel the rays of sun on my bare skin, rejuvenating each cell with fiery life. I could feel my soul drawing away from bitterness and closer to wildness. And then a much needed hike led me to the final destination: happiness. Life is simple on the trail; one foot in front of the other until I reach the top. My clumsy feet trip on rocks as I look far ahead instead of where I am stepping; I drink when I'm thirsty, I eat when I'm hungry, I pause in the shade when I need a break. I know at the right time I will stumble upon the perfect opportunity to create a life I love, and I am ready to for the trails to diverge and to hike my own path. 

"Sometimes the Warrior feels as if he were living two lives at once. In one of them he is obliged to do all the things he does not want to do and fight for ideas in which he does not believe. But there is another life, and he discovers it in his dreams, in his reading, and in his encounters with people who share his ideas. The Warrior allows his two lives to draw near. 'There is a bridge that links what I do with what I would like to do,' he thinks. Slowly, his dreams take over his everyday life, and then he realizes that he is ready for the thing he always wanted. Then all that is needed is a little daring, and his two lives become one."

Routine. Monotony. Doing the same thing every.single.day. It's an inevitable trap that I seem to have fallen into and cannot wait to escape. The monotony got the best of me so I purchased a one-way ticket to South America. I will be in Peru on October 14! I know working hard and having a routine is necessary to get me to the next destination where I don't have to worry about any sort of obligation, but man it's been a long wait. The promise of a grand adventure is enough motivation to push me through these next two months. I will be going with one of my best friends, excited about having a travel companion this time around! Trekking in Peruvian mountains, drinking wine in Argentina, exploring the diverse Chilean landscape, and discovering Bolivian culture… it couldn't get here soon enough. 

"The Warrior knows that he is free to choose his desires, and he makes these decisions with courage, detachment, and -sometimes- with just a touch of madness."

As for my newly established photography business, I am happy with the progress. I have been doing a few portrait sessions, one wedding down, with another scheduled next week, and already another next summer. Stephanie and Randy's wedding turned out to be absolutely beautiful! I was a bit nervous as that was my first real wedding on my own. Though it was short and sweet, the light managed to shine through the clouds perfectly and give me a beautiful backdrop for a beautiful couple. Stephanie managed to smile despite insects and wasps tangling up in her dress. The bridesmaids managed to keep up in heels as I led them through a muddy field. The ceremony was great, even with the token bystander who passed out halfway through. I guess weddings aren't quite as bad as they all say! Though I haven't had nearly as much time to devote to my photos as I would like, I am so glad to have a growing fan base who keeps me excited to post new material. (Side note: if anyone wants to help me create a website, I am surprisingly technologically challenged and need all the help I can get!) 

My endless to-do list seems to grow more every day. Time is a valuable entity that I have really come to cherish these past few months. Time management has never been a strength of mine, a true procrastinator by nature. But sooner or later, each task gets a big check mark and I move on to the next. As for today, my to do list is pretty simple. Be grateful. Be happy. Smile. And laundry, that too. 

"It is sometimes deeply depressing to be a rebel,

knowing that we can never share most people's way of life, nor can they share ours.

Schooling stuffs the brains of our children with trivia.

The more the trivia, the more their anxieties.

They indoctrinate the children to believe that the consequences are grave

when they fail to distinguish 'good' from 'evil', and agreement from disagreement. 

What gross nonsense!

We are so different! Having no desire for the trivialities,

nor for the compensations, we are like infants not yet knowing how to laugh!

Ever wandering, and having no home to which we may return.

While most people are obsessed with superficialities, we feel empty.

While most people feel they know so much, we feel simple-minded.

While most people believe they live happily in the best of all possible worlds, 

we are despaired to witness this world!

It is so painful to know that we will always be outsiders,

endlessly moving like the ocean, aimlessly blowing like the wind.

While we fear what others fear, we don't treasure what others treasure.

Our treasure is the Great Integrity.

However, until it is shared, it will not be the Universal Integrity,

for we are a part of them, and they are a part of us."