Monday, February 23, 2015

Live Your Dream.

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When I speak of my travels, I can expect the same list of inquiries: "Aren't you afraid?”; "Was it amazing?”; and "What were you traveling for?". Perhaps due to constant repetition, my answers to these questions have grown vague and routine: "Never”; "It was amazing”; and “Just to travel." But lately I got to thinking about that last question… What was I traveling for? Why travel at all?

I realized I was searching. Searching for meaning, for raw experience, for beauty, for love, for courage, for home, for presence, and for myself. 
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Settling back in my hometown for a spell has spurred an epiphany: That all those things I have been searching for have been within me all along. Ralph Waldo Emerson says it best, “Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not."

I am both plagued and blessed with a gypsy soul and that thing they call wanderlust, in its truest form. I have climbed jagged peaks, I have spent weeks at a time living on bare necessities in the wild, I have hitchhiked across foreign countries, and I have faced deep loneliness amongst dense crowds. But when it comes right down to it, the hardest part for this restless girl is to live a profound, meaningful life in a small, familiar town called home. 

I am beginning to reassess and revalue my ideas of adventure, aimless wandering, and excitement of new sights. I am now focused on expanding my ability to bring adventure into my everyday life; to wander down roads and trails I have seen trod countless times and still find something new to appreciate every trip; to experience excitement in all the simple pleasures of life.

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So I stand before you, stripped bare of all stories and badges earned on my exciting travels, just me. Your everyday human, daring you to join me in making our lives a story worth telling. Let’s try it - simply by living presently, lovingly, and inspiringly every single day. I challenge you to find the beauty within; and I promise, as within, so without. 



Dream your life…live your dream.



Saturday, February 14, 2015

True West.



There's nothing more invigorating and more intimidating than a blank white page. 





I am sitting on top of my sticker-covered bear canister, looking out the windows of BYV at the amazing mountain ranges surrounding me. This is my sacred space. This is where I come to clear my mind, to just be. Cody, Wyoming has once again stolen my heart and left me in awe of this being my hometown, where I grew up, and where I live now. Wyoming is EPIC.

Even the coffee tastes better here. 




Life lately…just wow. 

I welcomed the end of 2014 with all my heart. It was an amazing year for sure, but definitely one of great struggle, great change, and great times I was ready to leave behind. It's almost as if life had to continually slap me in the face to remind me of the path I should be on. A path of pursuing my passions with no resistance. It took an entire year of being lost to find myself right back at the starting point, this time exactly where I need to be, not only physically but mentally. 



In January, I left Wyoming in a whirlwind of mixed emotions. Anxiety, excitement, stress, joy, fear, resistance and openness in all forms.  

I flew to Asheville, North Carolina and started my first yoga teacher training immersion. The three weeks spent there are beyond words. I was immersed in yoga from 8am-5pm six days a week, immersed with 23 fellow students and various teachers, immersed in a lifestyle that I have been in desperate need of for quite some time. 
I learned more in those three weeks than I ever imagined. And not just about what I thought yoga was, but what it really is, and mostly about my self. I learned that I need to allow time to be present for all the things I truly love to do. Seems so simple!

This has already opened up so many amazing opportunities to teach yoga. I am helping host a Kundalini yoga and life-coaching workshop in March with Virginia and my new teacher, Prakash. And will also be teaching at The Healing Space in Cody starting in a couple weeks. It is a visionary space, looking to heal people through many different holistic methods. I am humbled to be a part of this team. 




I am once again living in BYV, realizing that this is actually a huge part of my identity now. To live simply, humbly, and close to the earth, that's what I want. To sleep under the stars in a different spot each night, that's what I love. To have few possessions and so much space, that's what we all need. 

Van life for life. 

Virginia and I are also in the process of developing our personal brand to represent Yoga -- True West. The idea behind this is to just live and portray our beliefs in how life should be lived: sustainably, with love, and with presence. Stay tuned for more about True West! 



I have figured out what I am meant to do, now all that's left is to do it. Be it. And be it NOW.

-with light

Saturday, October 25, 2014

In Fear and Love

Is not the concentration and abundance of fear the inevitable cause and result of catastrophe, unbalance, and more fear? Where there is a multitude of unconscious people, is there not a multitude of fear?

Here, though, it is different. The people and the fear are spread out enough that the true nature of nature can shine through. This is love. And love begets only more love.

Where there is gratitude for the simple beauties in life, there is gratitude for all things. Gratitude begets only more things to be grateful for.

We are spread just far enough for solitude to reach us. Yes, solitude. This thing all of us fear on some level, is the key. Solitude is frightening. Solitude is comforting. Solitude is rewarding.

Be still. Breathe. Take in all of what is.

It is the sparkle of a spiderweb.
The glowing cotton dancing in the blue sky.
The plane above, slowly rushing past.
It is the wrinkles aging the mountain side.
It is everything. It is nothing.

The real what is, is internal.
Inside.

The experiencer, experiencing.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Canada, Eh.


It was love at first sight, for me at least. Bright yellow, rough around every edge, but so full of potential. I had to have this van. Did I know how to drive a manual? Not yet. Did I know how much work it would take to transform this into a home? I had an idea. It all seemed worth it.

Three months later, I am laying inside BYV (Big Yellow Van) on my makeshift bed, drinking hand-ground french press coffee. Outside are pines, yellowed aspens, snow kissed mountains, a dark storm rolling in ever so slowly. Inside rests 90% of all my possessions. Everything about these passing moments is so simple, so wonderful, so perfect. It's all I have ever wanted.  


I don't think the majesty of nature will ever cease to leave me in awe. Soaking in sunshine, kissing the breeze with my skin, listening to the white noise of a steady stream, anticipating the warm crackling fire underneath a black sky filled with more stars than I have ever seen. My mind is never more clear than it is in the wild. Everything is beauty and love and beauty and love are everything. I talk lightly about my desire to be a mountain woman… but in this reality it's the only truth I could ever believe. The way my soul feels out here couldn't be a lie. This is the truest true.



Sometimes it's hard not to let myself get stressed out when I am living spontaneously moment by moment. But I am constantly reminded that the right people and places always show up at the right time. I find it imperative to remember that I am never really alone. 




I left Glacier National Park after an amazing visit, and crossed the border near Waterton Lakes NP. I spent my first night in Canada at a campground in Lundbreck Falls. A close group of older locals, who use this spot as their weekend getaway, greeted me with warm smiles. When I first passed by, I had to comment on their cute cat…leashed to the camper. After that, they invited me to bring over a chair and a drink and hang out with them. We sat around their campfire all night chatting about everything from frying turkeys to coal mining. And by the way, Canadian accents are awesome….dontchaknow!? My neighbors were two guys, a father and son, who were biking from Glacier to Calgary. We also exchanged some great conversation over tea. I obviously have a lot of respect and curiosity for people who are out on amazing adventures of their own, so it was great to hear all about their trip.  




The next day I headed North. And though there was talk of a snow storm rolling in, the warm blue skies misled me most of the day. It wasn't until I was driving over a mountain pass through Kootenay National Park the snow finally caught up with me…. and it didn't go away for four days. So I stopped in Canmore, a beautiful town with an amazing yoga studio (among other things!). I decided to hang out there until the storm passed. 
On my second night there, I finished a yoga class at 9pm and when I got to BYV she was not running like normal. So I decided to wait until the next morning to figure it out. When I woke to another 7 inches of snow, I tried to start her up. But no luck. I went to a coffee shop nearby and called a tow-truck. I waited there for three hours, as all tow trucks were quite busy with snow-related wrecks. Frances finally picked me up, tried jumping BYV, then towed me 1.5 miles to the Ford shop. Handed me the bill… $300. That hurt. I took it in to the shop and spent another three hours waiting for the diagnosis while watching cooking shows... I now know how to make some amazing slow-cooked ribs. 
I was truly expecting the worst, and had my parents ready to come tow me home. It ended up being my starter…which I have just replaced in July. Awesome. But they were nice enough to pull BYV out in to the parking lot so I could sleep in it for the night…haha. To be honest, I sulked for a while. But around 5 that evening, I decided that I could either just sit there and be upset about something I had no control over, or I could make the best of my night. I chose the latter. I went out to dinner at a tapas place, and made friends with the staff and a couple sitting next to me at the bar. Then went to a little acoustic set at a cafe next door and made friends with even more people there. So the night turned out to be amazing, and I was reminded once again that every outcome is just based on how you react to a situation. The next afternoon BYV was fixed. I slowly handed over $500 for that two-hour job, and hit the road. 



My initial plan was to do a lot of backpacking/hiking in Banff and Jasper, but upon arriving I found out there are hiking regulations, so I was unable to hike alone. Plus a lot of the camps were closed due to bear activity… and after my run-in in Glacier, I really did not want to push my luck. So I breezed through Banff, vowing to come back and really explore this breath-taking area. I stopped in Fairmont Springs to fill up the gas tank, but my card was declined and I was without cash. Frantic with worry, I sped away…leaving my gas cap behind. I spent the night at a road-side rest area, worrying about why my card wasn't working. The next morning I went to the nearest town and contacted my mom. Turns out the bank had deactivated it out of suspicion…even though they knew I was in Canada. A little frustrating, but easy fix. Filled up and continued on South. I noticed a blob of blue birds on the side of the road, and as I got closer I saw that it was a flock of peacocks! After my encounter with the bear and other random animals, I got really interested in strange encounters with animals, and this was by far the strangest and most magical.



I stopped in Nelson where I signed up for a weekend yoga festival. That was the best decision I made on my entire trip. Nelson is an amazing town, great community, right on the water, and filled with beautiful hippies. I participated in six yoga classes, and learned so much. The most profound class I have ever had was taught by a woman who was paralyzed from the neck down ten years ago. Now, through devotion to tantra yoga, she has total movement of her arms, neck, back, and can even walk in water. A moment like that slaps you in the face and realize that you have no excuse not to use your body to its fullest potential. Being immersed in all things yoga made it all the more apparent to me that this is something I need to pursue further in life, and led me to absolute conviction to sign up for a yoga teacher training in January. After that, I will be able to teach others the things I have learned and have stuck with me in times of tribulation. 



I left Nelson unsure of my next move. I just decided to let the road lead me wherever I needed to go. On my way out of town, I picked up a hitchhiker. Christina had been volunteering at the yoga festival, and since the busses don't run on Sundays, needed a lift. We hit it off quickly, and I told her my next general direction. She was quick to inform me that I was headed in the completely wrong direction, and offered to show me the right way once we got to her home. So graciously, she invited me to stay for dinner and I ended up spending the whole night getting to know her and her boyfriend Josh. I elaborated on my travel plans and said I was just trying to head South maybe West, and they lit up telling me I should take the ferry the next morning…and that it is in the exact direction I was headed initially. 





There is no such thing as the wrong direction, after all. Every turn you take will lead exactly where you are meant to be. 


So my trip ended up being shorter than I originally planned, but it felt right to be home helping my parents in their next giant leap in life, moving out of our house we have lived in for 11 years. They bought land in the country and are building their own home. It's such an exciting time in life! 

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Birthday in GNP


I know a trip is going well when I have no idea where to start the story. I guess I will go with my week in Glacier National Park.

This is the third time I have visited Glacier, and I was still in just as much awe as I was the first time around. It's magic. I spent my first snowy day there riding the shuttle along Going-to-the-Sun-Road and hiking some shorter trails. It was an interesting mix of feelings of reminiscence, nostalgia, and commitment to living in the now. The last time I was in Glacier was a few years ago with an ex-boyfriend. We had an amazing time and saw some of my most favorite parts of the park. This time gave me a chance to experience these places in a refreshed light, and I was grateful to be able to appreciate the beauty of the past, but not let it hinder the unbeatable now.




I decided to spend my 24th birthday backpacking. I chose a 21-mile route that goes over Gunsight Pass, and the Continental Divide. It was interesting to spend my birthday "alone". Though I made numerous new friends throughout the day (including a couple mountain goats), I missed my tribe. But I knew they were all sending me good vibes full of light and love. Ultimately solitude was what I needed because I had gotten away from my truest self. It is easy to drift sometimes, but the important thing is to always be able to center yourself back where you know you need to be.



And the most intense part of my trip was a too close bear encounter. I was hiking along the pass on a part of the trail where there is sheer cliff above and below. I sensed someone behind me, and turned around expecting to greet fellow hikers. Instead I saw a sow and two cubs about 30 feet away from me. I didn't even realize pulling out the bear spray because at that point I was running on sheer instinct and adrenaline. So they kept on following me, even picking up the pace and closing in the gap between us. In all honesty, I thought I was done for. One swipe of her giant paw and I would have tumbled down the 800 ft cliff below. But luckily that was not my fate. After about 30 seconds, she finally turned around and her and the cubs went the other way. I don't think I breathed until that point! Ahhh! It was crazy. It wasn't until later that night it fully hit me just how terrifying that was. So even though I have a handful of previous bear encounters, this one tops them all. I have never been more grateful for my life than on that day... my birthday.




Anyways. I met so many great people there who I am excited to keep in touch with. Overall, an amazing experience.

I then headed across the border and I guess that's where I will pick up next time. For now, I am in Canmore Alberta. It is snowing but stunning. I even bought an unlimited week yoga pass at the local studio, so I guess I will be sticking around this area for a little bit! Basically, Canada = AMAZING.


Thursday, August 21, 2014

A Touch of Wildness, and Freedom, That Too.











































































"The greatest remedy in the world is change; and change implies the passing from the old to the new. It is also the only path that leads from the lesser to the greater, from the dream to the reality, from the wish to the hearts desire fulfilled. It is change that brings us everything we want. But change is not always external. Real change, or rather the cause of all change, is always internal. It is the change in the within that first produces the change in the without. To go from place to place is not change unless it produces a change of mind -- a renewal of mind. It is the change of mind that is the change desired. It is the renewal of mind that produces better health, more happiness, greater power, or the increase of life, and the consequent increase of all that is good in life. And the constant renewal of mind -- the daily change of mind -- is possible regardless of times, circumstances, or places. She who can change her mind every day and think the new about everything every day will always be well; she will always be free; her life will always be interesting; she will constantly move forward into the larger, the richer, the better. And whatever is needed for her welfare today, of that she shall surely have abundance."