The past couple years, I have been gradually working my way to a place where I not only don’t mind being alone, but to where I actually value and like being with myself. I find solace in the quiet of my mind. I enjoy having peace to really think. I like knowing that I don’t necessarily need someone else to bring me happiness. I cherish that I can go out on my own and travel wherever I want without relying on someone else. Being completely on my own is difficult at times though. Times when I can’t fall asleep, and would rather someone else’s voice fill the void only silence creates. Times when I can’t quite motivate myself to get out and do something new. Times when a familiar embrace is the only thing that can make me feel at home in a foreign place. But with all this alone time, I really think I am growing into myself. I can see exactly who I am and who I want to be, what makes me truly happy and what makes me feel stagnant. Though I hate to admit, at times it’s hard to be strong when it’s so easy to be weak.
About a year ago, I wrote, “The ‘secret’ to happiness is not magically revealed after you find yourself…YOU are always right there. It is discovered by simply embracing yourself and fulfilling dreams that make your life complete. After countless journeys of trying so hard to find myself, I finally realize that I have always been right here, I just wasn’t actually taking action on the things that would help me flourish.” I have truly gotten to that place, the place where I fully embrace myself and don’t hesitate to fulfill my ever-changing dreams. Sure, I moved to Alaska to fulfill a dream, but that is just step one! I think I have a hard time continually doing things that bring me joy. So as a constant reminder, these are some small things that make me happiest:
· Being outside—and doing anything like hiking, camping, sitting by a campfire, or just breathing fresh air.
· Taking pictures
· Reading good books
· Cooking new recipes for other people
· Drinking kombucha and good coffee
· Making other people happy
· Listening to good music
· Being adventurous
· Seeing new places
· Meeting new people
Okay, so there it is. Ten pretty basic things that I need to do on a regular basis in order to be at my optimal level of happiness. Simple!
“Be brave enough to live life creatively. The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. You cannot get there by bus, only by hard work and risk and by not quite knowing what you are doing. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover will be yourself.” – Alan Alda
This is really just rainy day talk. I am not really sure where exactly my head is at, where I am at! I am cooped up in my little cabin (aka ‘shed with a bed’) with no one else but me, and nothing else but books, writing, and music, to entertain myself. So in the big picture I know things will always get better. I just think this entry is necessary to remind you that I am only human…a girl who feels lonely, insecure, and lost in life at times, just like everyone else. So I need no sympathy because I have more than I could ever ask for, and I know I will be meeting a ton of new people very soon… I am already meeting new people, just haven’t had much of a chance to really get to know anyone. There is a very dynamic group of people here, all of them love traveling and moving from place to place as much and even more than I do, so it’s easy to relate to them. And soon I will be working from 5:30am to 2pm most every day, and will gradually lose the energy to care whether or not I am alone! But for now, I have a few days left of not really knowing what else to do or where else to go. Plus the pouring rain is no spirit-lifter either! Rain, rain, go away!!! Bring on the sunshine, I am ready for summer!
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